


duolovania

by not_so_cool_guy



Category: Memes - Fandom, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Buff Duolingo - Freeform, Crack, Crack Taken Seriously, Crossover, Enemies to Lovers, Fights, Gay, Gay Duolingo Bird, Gay Sans Undertale, Jealous Minecraft Steve, Jealousy, Lust, M/M, Spaghetti, Twitter, Yaoi, i will regret using that tag but still, this is hands down one of the best/worst things ive written while high
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-09
Updated: 2019-05-09
Packaged: 2020-02-28 19:05:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18762565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/not_so_cool_guy/pseuds/not_so_cool_guy
Summary: Duolingo Bird and Sans Undertale fight in an epic duel, featuring Minecraft Steve.





	duolovania

Lights, camera, action! The stage was set, the audience was impatient, the fighters could barely hold themselves back! The music was pumping and the air was filled with energy! The stakes were high and the tensions were even higher! Smoke filled the arena as the announcers announced and stuff! There was the Twitter bird, Papyrus, and even Minecraft Steve! The Twitter bird tweeted out the soon to be iconic event to all of the verified Twitter users while Papyrus made spaghetti for everyone in the audience! Minecraft Steve was also very important since he entered Creative Mode and built the whole arena himself! What an LGBT icon, ugh we stan!

Suddenly, the room got dark, before there was a spotlight shining in one corner of the arena… the green corner.

“IN ONE CORNER, WE HAVE… DUO THE DUOLINGO BIRD!!!!!” The Twitter bird yelled mid-tweet. The terrifying, multilingual owl emerged from backstage, spreading his wings and chirping passive aggressively. Another spotlight flicked on, focusing on the opposite corner of the arena, the blue corner.

“AAAAAND IN THE OTHER CORNER, WE HAVE… SANS UNDERTALE!!!!! NYEH HEH HEH!!!” Papyrus exclaimed, nearly spilling his spaghetti. The smaller skeleton emerged from the corner, ruffling his hoodie and looked up directly at the camera.

The two competitors stepped onto the actual arena. Duo’s wings were curled into fists as Sans prepared his Gaster Blasters. Duo glared at Sans’ eye sockets, while Sans just chuckled. There was a pause, before… 

“LET’S GET READY TO _RUMBLEEEEEEEEEEEE_!!!!!!!” Minecraft Steve exclaimed at the top of his blocky lungs. 

“it's a beautiful day outside. birds are singing, flowers are blooming... on days like these, kids like you… should be burning in hell.” Sans summoned bones to rain down on the demonic bird in front of him. Duo dodged his attacks, before swooping in for a Wing Attack. He knocked Sans backwards and grinned.

“Hi! I’m Duo. It looks like your 40 day Spanish streak has been broken. Please, stay still and let me collect your kneecaps,” he sneered, pulling out an ice cream scoop. Sans stood up and socked Duo in the beak before taking a “shortcut” behind him. 

**“*You feel like you’re gonna have a bad time.”**

Sans powered up his Gaster Blasters, striking down where Duo is- was?? Suddenly, the Duolingo Bird was beside him, turning into his final form… Buff Duolingo… Buff Duolingo grabbed Sans by the skull and shook him around before flinging him into the side of the arena.

“Your time is almost up, learn the fucking Mexican words or else.” Buff Duolingo stood over Sans, his foot raised over his torso. 

“eheheheheheheheh,” Sans chuckled, raising his hand. His left eye started to glow yellow and blue as an oddly familiar song filtered through the arena.

**_*doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo._ **

Duo’s eyes were filled with fear.

“Oh no… not MEGALOVANIA…” he shuddered, stepping away from the skeleton.

“The REAL battle finally begins,” Sans chuckled as MEGALOVANIA blasted on full volume through the massive arena speakers. Papyrus cheered on his brother from the announcer’s booth as the Twitter bird just kept on tweeting.

As Sans begins summoning his massive army of Gaster Blasters to defeat Duo the Duolingo Bird once and for all, Duo was struck with a sense… of love… It was a strange feeling, especially since just a few seconds ago, he wanted to brutally murder the fucking obnoxious skeleton, but now he was all ‘heart-eyes’ over him. 

What. The. Fuck.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, actions appeared in front of the Duolingo Bird.

**[FIGHT] [ACT] [ITEM] [MERCY] [CONFESS]**

Without thinking, Duo selected **[CONFESS]**

Sans paused, his Gaster Blasters disappearing from thin air. His flashing yellow and blue eye became a flashing pink eye that was heart shaped. He took an instant “shortcut” to right in front of Duo. 

He put his bony hand on the buff bird’s shoulder, “hey.” 

Duo was filled with lust immediately, “hey~,” he replied sensually. 

Sans smirked, “mind if I finish you off here so you can finish me off later?” 

Duo nodded vigorously, shifting back into his regular small owl form. Sans prepared his massive army of Gaster Blasters and other various bone attacks once more. Once he was ready, he fired them at Duo the Duolingo Bird’s open wings.

‘ _I love you, Duo,_ ’ the skeleton mouthed.

‘ _I love you too, Sans,_ ’ the owl mouthed back before being completely obliterated by Sans’ attacks.

“AAAAAND THE WINNER IS SANS UNDERTALE!!!!!” Minecraft Steve yelled. The whole crowd clapped and cheered. Papyrus patted his brother on the back while the Twitter bird tweeted about it. Minecraft Steve looked like he left the competition to go mining, but then again, who would go mining with a gay pride flag- oh right, this ks LGBT icon Minecraft Steve, of course he would. Ugh we stan, the tea is scalding, shister slay, etc. Not to be gay on main or anything, but if Duo the Duolingo Bird wasn’t around, Sans would absolutely go for Minecraft Steve.

“Anyways Sans, you can choose between three top prizes, you can have a verified Twitter account forever, no matter what kind of problematic uwu shit you spew, you can have an unlimited supply of Papyrus’ spaghetti, or you can go on a date with me, Minecraft Steve.”

_oh shit oh fuck oh shit oh fuck oh shi-_

There was an incredibly long and nearly unbearable pause until Sans finally made up his goddamn mind.

“I’m sorry but there’s no Twitter in the Underground, and I’ll always have a supply of my brother’s spaghetti-”

“So it looks like we’re going on a date,” Minecraft Steve winked at Sans Undertale. He tried not to blush, remembering that Duo was waiting for him. Meanwhile, the yaoi fangirls in the crowd cheered very loudly and some of them even started crying, saying that their otp was finally becoming canon. 

“Uh, actually-” Sans was cut off by Minecraft Steve giving him a peck on the cheek. Before Sans could try to speak again, Duo the Duolingo Bird crashed through the ceiling!

“Nobody touches my boyfriend!” He yelled as, like, three fangirls cried of joy because of their uwu rarepair otp becoming canon for real owo. Suddenly, Duo became Buff Duo, grabbing Minecraft Steve by the torso. He slammed him into the wall repeatedly until he died, dropping all of his mining loot. The Twitter bird dropped his phone while Papyrus tried to sneak out of the back door.

“I’m sorry Duo, I tried to stop him-”

“It’s fine, you did all you could’ve done, my love,” Duo collected Minecraft Steve’s loot as Sans climbed on top of his new boyfriend.

“What are you gonna do with his diamonds?” Sans asked as Duo took off into the evening sky. 

“Make a diamond ring for you, dear,” Duo replied, “well, right after we have hot yaoi sexy times. What do you say, Sansy?”

“Yessir~” Sans smirked at the sun set behind the two incredibly different lovers.

And yes, they did have hot yaoiz when they got home.

The end.

lol.


End file.
